IT'S NOT MUCH BUT IT'S IT'S AH ALL I'VE GOT

It's the WORLD CUP apparently. I had a dream the other week that Argentina were going to win,

everyone's been shouting NO NO NO NO they'll never win but I had my dream

MLK's dream came true

and mine will too

I say MLK's dream came true, but I'm watching an episode of Louis Theroux's wild weekends and there's a lot of black men who disagree

and want to start a race war

and think that Tom Jones is black.

Louis always attracts the weirdos/freaks/people who should probably be confined in a straight jacket and not allowed to speak the same language as everyone else. Just baby talk will do.

no, no, because everyone deserves a voice. just...I wish there was more temperament sometimes on TV, not just Extreme personalities. We don't live in a cartoon world. The Powerpuff Girls can't save us here.

it would be cool to live with all of the cartoons though. have breakfast with the Cookie monster (wasn't there something about him having to go on a diet recently? I almost bought a cookie monster tshirt from american apparel yesterday but I don't want people to look at me and go Ugh he clearly doesn't eat cookies, what a liar. besides, I do. besides, I prefer Bert and Ernie. They had a Bert and Ernie tshirt as well, but I already have a couple of those)

and then go for a jog with Billy Whizz. or look for the princess, again with Mario. There's whole websites and blogs and a hell of a lot of misc. about people transferring themselves into cartoon worlds or putting cartoon people into the real world and I don't want to write any fan fiction

-there was this cartoon series in the Guardian a couple of years ago. I wish I can remember who the cartoonist was, but they were brilliant nevertheless. My favourite was a real life mario and luigi running about and being mario and luigi...and one of them dies with his head down a toilet. How he got there was unexplained but the visual of cartoon antics being incompatible with the real world was fantastic-

but there's something so innocent about transferring yourself into someone else's imagination without thinking about anything

going to sleep on impossible beds, waking up to impossible adventures

and running away with the plot line. things won't work the same. no control.

it's like drugs without the death effects. or the scary PSAs in schools and fat teachers telling you that everything is Your Choice, but You have Respons-i-bil-i-ties to Yourself and Everyone around You and taking an ecstasy tablet will probably render you useless or inanimate for the rest of your life.

and in cartoon worlds there are no complications, there's no restrictions. there's nothing to stop Dumbo from flying or Popeye from becoming a hardcore mutha-fucka fucking mothers with his spinachPowered biceps

and everyone's pixels or colour

and nobody

you know

is properly human.

just jumping on turtles and chasing the princess, please.

oh, self publicizing time. I wrote this poem about pinnochio a while back. it seems appropriate:

Honest John throws the apple

core to the floor, hand

reaching for Pinnochio,

run and run.

He’s a man now. The fish

and cat are both dead

and there are never

flowers at Gepetto’s grave.

He ties himself

to bedposts

and wants to be a puppet, again.