SHE CAN ALWAYS BE REPLACED, SHE CAN ALWAYS BE REPLACED

I remember how much I love writing now that I'm doing it again. I'm going to crack out some words this afternoon. Bleeding hearts, you've got competition because I'm on the poetry stroll. I suppose I've been feeling a bit lost recently. If lost = terrified.

I graduate in less than a year's time.

And I need to find a job/something to do/something that will mean I don't have to come back to somerset to live and walk and while away time and money

and I need money. I took out my first ever credit card the other day just so I can pay for the rent of a house that I'm not even staying in yet. I'm proud that I'm finally doing what everyone else my age was doing a couple of years ago. I think I'm proud. I'm more proud that I've managed to resist it up until now without a job/regard for what I'm spending.

so I'm going to have to get a part time job, which will be glorious. I've always wanted to be a waiter/barkeep/I've already worked in a shop but heck, shops are fun.

but THE FUTURE. I didn't realize how expensive it was to get a Masters. I've been toying with the idea of going for one ever since all of my friends who have graduated have been complaining all over facebook about being unemployed and depressed and poor. But I think that taking a masters would leave me more depressed, more unemployed and more poor than if I just went out, rented a shitty apartment in London and worked in KFC for my whole life. 'Writing on the side', of course. And when one of my poems is published, we'll see who's laughing then! That's right! You.

I've always said 'I'M MOVING TO NEW YORK', but realistically New York's not going to want a recently graduated delusional with no idea what he's going to do, just that he wants to be able to write and watch crap reality tv and be a hermit while contributing anything to THE CITY.

besides, a masters degree in New York would cost me over £50,000. I don't have £50,000. If I went on Total Wipeout, 101 Ways To Leave a Gameshow and Deal or No Deal, I might be able to scratch together £50,000. Furthermore, I don't really want to pay someone £50,000 to tell me how to write. I'm far too obstinate for that.

so, well. if someone out there is reading this and wants to give a hardworking, keen, spirited, intelligent boy a job anytime soon...let me know! I will be ever so grateful.

well. It's worth a shot...