well
it's time to talk music. FUCK actually, I'll do a fashion post first. FUCK. prepare yourself for a fashion+music mash-up. This post is going to be like a catwalk.
bam bam bam bam WURQ
This is what I think you should be wearing/listening to at the same time.
1. anything JWoww wears and Requiem by Kashiwa Daisuke
JWoww's style is determined by how much flesh she can get away with legally showing while somehow maintaining an air of don't-fuck-with-me-or-I'll-turn-your-dick-inside-out. She basically grabs whatever scraps of material she can gather from the numerous bitch-downs she has outside of dirty nightclubs. It's spectacular. Now, imagine that you're menopausal and listen to Kashiwa Daisuke. Her Requiem is stunning. It's a song that catharts fear without falling into depression. It isn't a cookies and cream song that says 'hey, it's ok to be afraid. it's ok that everything's shit. You'll get through it...' nor is it a death metal anthem about how EVERYTHING'S SHIT DIEDIEDIE. It's pain and breath. It's saying that everything's shit, but fuck. we'll dance anyway. and we'll breathe. and everything's shit. but fuck. let's get fucked. And there's nothing more 'getting fucked' in my mind than a menopausal woman in rag-whore clothes dancing to weird electro on the sunny beaches of the craggy British coast line. There's nothing more Summery than that.
2. velvet slippers (monogrammed) and Love Lust by King Charles
Summer's also about being fucking decadent for a while, being romantic and feeling glorious about everything. There's no item of clothing more glorious than monogrammed, velvet slippers. You can't get a decent pair for under £70. I want a pair. Summer's about being outside in the garden, BBQ on in the day. Haze in the early evening, chairs still outside. Blankets around shoulders, wearing slippers and smoking cigars. Velvet slippers and cigars and tilting the head back slightly with a small chortle, subtle flirts and happy love for a while. And finding chirpy songs like 'Love Lust' to impress your friends with and say- yeah, I saw him in Brixton like five years ago. He's gone downhill, but what can you expect?- before someone on spotify interrupts you and it's gone. And the song's over and you're left outside cold, wearing silly slippers. And there are bills to pay, and you spent £70 on slippers which won't even keep you warm...not such a good idea any more. And the head tilt, small chortle, subtle flirts girl never fucked you. But still.
3. animal masks and The Ritz by Realboy
All of the hipsters are wearing animal masks, which makes sense. They need to look like they're hiding something. Hipsters want everyone to think that they could/should be spending all of their time shooting up in loft flats decorated with blood paintings by some tragic dead/dying poet. The half-animal masks hide the spots where their blood-shot eyes and two ton eye bags should be hanging over their razor sharp cheekbones. Besides, animal masks are twee and makes them look like they couldn't give a fuck. The truth is that they give a fuck more than everyone else. That they live with their parents and don't have razor sharp cheekbones because mummy makes too many nice home cooked meals. The animal mask hipster has posters of Pete Doherty in his/her room and plays Mumford and Sons in the privacy of his/her 'ironically decorated' (ie. unchanged since their pre-puberty days) bedroom. These people are twats. They own ukuleles. Heck, I don't want to go off on a tangent here, but I really really hate hipster types. They're so frigging desperate. There's one girl at university who wears vintage etc., has her close circle of 'in' girl friends etc., is butt ugly but ooh that's alright because aesthetics don't matter etc., but she is about the most vile girl that you can ever come across. Unless you're with one of her ugly girl friends she'll ignore you completely. Unless you're talking about Kierkegaard or Jay Jay Pistolet she'll think that you're retarded because she twitches her retarded frog features on her pancake face. She's the girl in school who no-one liked because she smelt of grape juice and now she's discovered that it's cool to shop in charity shops so she has a HUGE sense of entitlement. There's another girl who did some mephodrone once and dates a guy who's involved with the one nightclub in town. Big deal. People think that she cums diamonds. Hipsters dirty themselves with the misplaced notion that they're entitled to everyone's adoration because they look like fucking arsewipes wearing whatever kitsch and ohsocool thing that they decide to wear. Which, for now, is animal masks. So, fuck. Let's mock them and let's dance while doing it. There's nothing contrived about Realboy's The Ritz. It's a really really fun tune. Dance like a mother fucker, wearing an animal mask...then take it off and piss on it.
4. AA see thru short sleeve t-shirt and Shadows by Au Revoir Simone
OK. I won't shout any more. This is my Summer. Genuinely. And I would probably hate it if everyone did the same as me/wore the same shirt but...it's the best shirt ever. British Summers are never all that hot but it's good to get a bit naked. This shirt allows for semi nude moments. It's really soft. It's huge. It drapes more beautifully than anything EVER. It saved my life at Glastonbury...I had awful hayfever and I used this shirt as a gauze around my face. I looked like a terrorist, but it worked beautifully. Also, it grows and I've got into the habit of wearing it like a dress shirt around the house with just my boxers on underneath. And why not? Heck, if it weren't for indecency laws I'd go out wearing just the shirt. And why not? Au Revoir Simone are the most beautiful girls with the most beautiful voices. I listened to Shadows in the woodland behind my house the other day, wearing my favourite shirt. Crunching leaves with sunlight peaking through the branches. Birds and a carton of melting ice cream. That's Summer.
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