Who is Justin Bieber? Yes, he's a young singing sensation. Yes, he looks like more of a lesbian than every single lesbian that I know. Yes, young girls want him even though they don't technically know what they want yet. They're the same young girls who would do anything for Robert Pattinson. Is that cute? That whole legions of pre-pre-pubescent girls declare their LOVE for whoever it is decided they should LOVE? Pedobear says yes. I say no.
The parents who won't let their children eat anything that isn't organic, who ban them from playing in the street because there must be hundreds of kidnappers everywhere, who wouldn't let their kids build a den unless it was furnished by Laura Ashley...they're the same parents who would happily let their children share a bed with Michael Jackson because it's Michael Jackson! or queue in the rain for days to get a glimpse of Justin Bieber and possibly talk with him possibly kiss possibly sex possibly someone famous in the family!!!!!1!!!1!!!
besides which, Bieber just looks like an unformed foetus.
And he always talks about dating girls and stuff, but he probably prefers to play with his action men. Or Barbies.
I used to have a Barbie. I got told to give it away. I've never forgiven my parents for that. Never forget.
OH, also my favourite monkey toy. It was called Monkey and they distracted me with a new monkey toy, I dropped Monkey and they threw it away. Yes, it was old and manky, but my little brother still has his childhood toy which has been fixed and washed and restuffed and everything. My older brother still has his. This shouldn't affect me, but it does. Now I'm left with Little Monkey.
I hate Little Monkey.
And I mourn Monkey.
Anyway. I don't know who Justin Bieber is. I don't want to hear him sing. I want him to go away, please. Thanks.
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